It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
