Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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