This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Let's paint friendship bongs
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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