I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
