If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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