I think I am morally bankrupt
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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