Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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