My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
