Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
