my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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