I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
