I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
