the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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