White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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