I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
