She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
