their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
