piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fuck appropriateness.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
