Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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