Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
