Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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