I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize