Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
