Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
