DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
