smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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