the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize