A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
