quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
