Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So. Much. Porn.
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