the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize