david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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