My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
