I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
