i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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