Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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