Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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