i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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