u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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