do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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