More tranny stories later!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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