She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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