My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
