so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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