If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
