These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
