Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
