with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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