but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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