I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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