his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
