In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize