How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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