please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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