im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize