new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize