im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
