everyone is single if you try hard enough
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
