then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
