I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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