i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I love you.
Bad choice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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