i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
